Zahari Dimitrov
b. Sofia, 1998
BA Graphic Design from KABK
Based in The Hague, NL
Looking for commisions
Send me an email ...

Irmgard Emmelhainz
Shattering And Healing

So perhaps instead of self-liquefying (further), we need to come to terms with our own brokenness and vulnerability.

Through a sort of cathartic separation from the damaged part, we can cleanse ourselves and then commune with the remains.

But what does vulnerability actually mean? Is it being able to acknowledge a state of pain or insecurity, embracing the feeling of coming undone? I feel that it’s something I’ve tried to hide from others and from myself. At the cost of headaches, a bloated stomach, the inability to articulate a sentence. A mental-physical feeling of paralysis. I now suspect that people spend a lot of time and effort hiding in this way. Could I overcome my terror of falling apart if I allowed myself to rely on others, on you? Or should I be a “cruel optimist” and create hopeful and positive attachments, in full awareness that they will not work out? Every option seems too difficult, because the tiniest and seemingly most harmless threat of exposure that I perceive pulls me down into a spiral of terror. Or used to. Now I can handle these things much better, and you know it.

I’ve come to understand your passion for diving as a hunger for intimacy. As you linger, fish suddenly stop seeing you as an intruder and welcome you into their world. It helps you fill your own void.

So I have established that vulnerability is not a wound but the scar of individualism. One problem is that in our contemporary world, being seen and being exposed overlaps with the current practice of self-marketing. But I’m talking about self-exposure of the heart (not Lena Dunham’s narcissistic self-exposure, and not terrorist self-exposure). Vulnerability as an acknowledgment of the desire for intimacy.

Zahari Dimitrov
b. Sofia, 1998
Currently studying Graphic Design
KABK, The Hague, NL
Send me an email...